atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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