The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
