You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
