Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
