My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
