Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
