She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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