i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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