I wish I could teleport
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
