i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
