so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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