Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
