I'm gonna have a badass scar
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
