He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
