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Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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