Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
