Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
