I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
