Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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