I got chris browned last night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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