Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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