She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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