We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize