My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
