tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
