you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
