u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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