Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
