they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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