Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
