final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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