i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize