D3 body, D1 cock
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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