i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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