Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
