Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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