Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You took a bar mat shot.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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