We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
