Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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