Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
