I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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