She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize