i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
