you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize