cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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