i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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