batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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