Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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