Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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