He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
