are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
