Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
