I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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