when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
