you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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