omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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