I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
