We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize