A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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