Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
