After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
