After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
