i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
A+ Viking dick
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
