Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
