I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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