Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
